x.x; Where do you draw the line..?

How far would yo ugo to fix the thing you saw as the biggest problem with yourself? Would you do plastic surgery to fix a nose? See a therapist over low self-esteem? What about weight loss - How far would you go for that?

I use to be so much larger then I am now.. about 45lbs heavier and then lost the weight however was far from thin yet - I was 'plushy' as I use to playfully say .. but now..

Last weekend (I forgot when exactly) I had this grand revelation .. I hated my body .. I hate it. I hate it more then I have ever hated it in all my life.. I look at myself and the bottom line of it is is I wouldnt date someone who looked like me. As shallow as it sounds its true - I just wouldnt. If I was desperate for money i couldnt make porn because I dont have the body - I dont get attention cause of how I look .. maybe cause I wear a collar but not because i'm some hot guy girls see and giggle all infatuated like.

I want to be thin. I want to be the guy that people see and think 'Damn, he's hot.' I want to be able to look at myself and confidently say I am happy with how I look .. I cant do that now and I can now see for all those years I DID say that I was just lieing to myself.. I wasnt happy, not at all..

So what price will I pay to be thin? How far will I allow myself to go..? I have started becoming a very big scrooge about what I eat to the extent that my lunch is half a sandwich and a small bad of wheat things I pack myself, then dinner the second half and some ritz with a thing of fat-free pudding for dessert .. Now I know starving yourself is the worst thing you would do to your body because it just fucks it up all shades of grey.. I'm just eating alot less, i'm not STARVING myself.. right? I guess the big thing is this however - I'm taking a weight-loss pill called Hydroxycut. I started taking it when I came to this whole 'Hate my body' thing and oi.. At first it gave me these headaches, nothing too bad honestly as I did enough research on it to see it's side effects, and now I am getting a bit of acne on my shoulders (another major side effect) but thanks to some proactive it's nothing that cant be dealt with.

Is taking some fat-pill and risking more serious side-effects worth it..?

I weighed myself that day i started on two different scales, one here at home and another at work and both came up as 232 ..

Today, Tuesday morning, I am about 222 ..

I dont think thats possible honestly.. to have lost 10 pounds in just 3-4 days however I look back and .. well, here's whats changed:

Food - I am eating SO much smarter and less of whatever it is I DO eat.
Exercise - I have been playing my dancing game for atleast an hour a day, usually twice or three times a day ..
Medicine - The Hydroxycut I mentioned.

I play my dancing game till I cant breath.. My stomach is almost always growling at me .. and I have this very small but constant headache .. Is it worth it?

Yes. TO see that scale go down - Fuck Yes.

I want to be someone people look at and see as sexy - I want to be able to get anyone I want with my good personality and matching body - I want to be able to be naked and just be confident in myself.

Is it worth being in just alittle pain to watch myself go down in the pounds? Without a doubt in my mind.


Weigh In - 222lbs